My husband Kurt’s facebook posting yesterday: “I planted hydrangeas for my girlie.” And I kept him company. He thanked me, and I said, “What am I doing?” He said, “Just your being here is helping me.”
We’ve both been working hard on the yard for about a month, now, but as I think back on this Memorial Day weekend, I see a real affirmation of something I’m learning: it’s hard to overestimate the power of a happy woman’s presence.
There’s real power in the simple presence of a happy man, too, but I think it’s especially important for women to recognize that our “just being there” in a pleased, present way is immeasurably nourishing for everyone around us: our clients, our colleagues, our partners, our children.
This weekend, I hung out on the porch and read and played with Cooper while Kurt planted. I know I’ve spent most of my life trying to Contribute, with a capital C, and am now learning the power of nurturing others by nurturing myself in their presence. I don’t have to work nearly as hard as I thought I did, to add value.
With clients, I long ago realized that my simple presence – listening, loving them, seeing what I saw – was an effortless way to add exponentially more value than trying to provide answers or “ask good questions.” The best conversations come out of my simple presence.
The best marriage comes out of my simple presence. My being happy nearby makes Kurt more happy than my knocking myself out to help him plant (and probably bickering with him in the process, right?).
The best parenting doesn’t come from flash cards, big-deal outings, or all the latest toys or clothes. It comes from our simple presence. Just enjoying who our child is.
And in business, so often there are all too many ideas being provided in the room. The contribution that makes make a big, unique difference is often noticing and naming a shift in the energy in the room, or asking for a pause so everyone can take in what’s happening, or recapping where the conversation is at. All these require presence. It’s a subtle form of contribution, but profound and rare.
In the 12 Elements of Power, we call this Nurturing Power. The truth we honor when we activate its power is that presence is powerful. The counterpart to Nurturing is Providing Power. That’s excellent , too: being able to plant a bush, buy a toy, give an answer, fund a project. But paradoxically in our world today, it’s Nurturing that’s in short supply, not the often-more-valued Providing.
My husband Kurt’s facebook posting yesterday: “I planted hydrangeas for my girlie.” And I kept him company. We’ve both been working hard on the yard for about a month, now, but as I think back on this Memorial Day weekend, I see a real affirmation of something I’m learning: it’s hard to overestimate the power of a happy woman’s presence.
There’s real power in the simple presence of a happy man, too, but I think it’s especially important for women to recognize that our “just being there” in a pleased, present way is immeasurably nourishing for everyone around us: our clients, our colleagues, our partners, our children.
I know I’ve spent most of my life trying to Contribute, with a capital C, and am just now learning the power of nurturing others by nurturing myself in their presence. I don’t have to work nearly as hard as I thought I did, to add value.
With clients, I long ago realized that my simple presence – listening, loving them, seeing what I saw – was an effortless way to add exponentially more value than trying to provide answers or “ask good questions.” The best conversations come out of my simple presence.
The best marriage comes out of my simple presence. My being happy nearby makes Kurt more happy than my knocking myself out to help him plant (and probably bickering with him in the process, right?). The best parenting doesn’t come from flash cards, big-deal outings, or all the latest toys or clothes. It comes from our simple presence. Just enjoying.
In the 12 Elements of Power, we call this Nurturing Power. The truth we honor when we activate its power is that presence is powerful. The counterpart to Nurturing is Providing Power. That’s excellent , too: being able to give an answer, fund a project, lift a box. But paradoxically in our world today, it’s Nurturing that’s in short supply, not the often-more-valued Providing.
